I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
