i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
