Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
