words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
