Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
