If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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