And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My bed smells like the plague
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
