we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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