haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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