Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
