dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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