One girl and one boy is just not enough.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
