that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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