imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
