I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
