Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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