I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Randomize
