So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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