omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
How does one acquire holy water?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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