He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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