my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
