Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
