its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
