So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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