If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
