the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
