does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
