it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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