that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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