Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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