I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
