So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
