why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
