Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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