so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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