he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
