sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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