This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
