I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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