oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
