I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
