Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
