all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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