So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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