it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
