That's intense
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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