Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
