STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
