rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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