we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
don't judge my taste in strippers
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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