Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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