i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
