not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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