You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
