Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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