Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
