I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
