so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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