My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
