11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
