I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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