One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
