Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
