hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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