Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
