i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
