Umm I'm too high to move.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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