I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
