no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
