halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize