So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
