yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
