There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
