I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wish I only lived at night.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
